That Pussycat Dolls Strategy Meeting in Full

A: Right, how're the album sales going?

B: Good but not spectacular.

A: Bollocks, this album cost a fortune. What demographies have we hit so far?

B: Well, When I Grow Up got the little girls who thought it was aspirational and the lads who liked the video (Phwoaar etc).  I Hate This Part got the oldies as it was actually a 'proper well-written song' and Jai Ho got the Asian market.

A: We're missing something. There's a demo we haven't reached. Who is it. Let me think.....IT'S THE GAYS!

B: You're a genius.

A: Right, what's the best song FOR THE GAYS on this appalling album?

B: What about Hush Hush? It opens as a slow jamz so we can have Nicole naked in the bath for the first minute and throw in a Nokia product placement at 0:39, then it turns into thoroughly camp disco. And we've ripped off the backing, sentiment and tune of I Will Survive in a far less classy way than Robbie Williams did with Supreme and the gays love that one.

A: Hmmm...that's good, but we need to really spell it out for them.....

B: How about we tack on another 1:30 of the actual tune I Will Survive, thus telling the gays that THEY MUST LIKE THIS RECORD?

A: That's perfect!

B: How about we really push the envelope and let all 5 of the girls sing a bit? You know, girl power, anyone can be a Pussycat Doll and equality and all that?

A: Don't be stupid. Make sure we get product placements for Hewlett Packard at 1:47 and Campari at 2:01.

B: Will do boss.